Shut Up Already: He Can Do It Through You

Have you ever been faced with something you had to do, but you thought "I cannot do this. I don't even have the ability to do this. God, why are you forcing me to fail? Why would you even put me in a position to be responsible for something I cannot accomplish: how on earth could You be glorified in that?!" I was in this pickle, back in 2002 and learned a very valuable lesson.

It was several months after we laid off our creative director/copywriter. We had a new client for which we had committed to help with their branding. Among other things, this assignment would require a lot of writing. Not just writing--really good writing. Clever, comprehensive, inspiring writing. Just one problem; we didn't have a copywriter anymore and we couldn't afford a freelancer. Somebody had to do it and since I was the only one that could spell, it was going to be up to me.

The endeavor started out okay--I love a challenge and refuse to back down from anything. But if inexperience and lack of confidence weren't enough; as it turned out I had to start writing the client's "brand story" at 8 p.m. the night before the 8 a.m. presentation. No worries, I can do it--I guess. (We were swamped, broke after 9/11 and working 12-16 hours a day. That's a lot of hours to try to be creative.)

I was exhausted, hungry, angry at the situation, and couldn't get two thoughtful sentences on the page. Only 2-3 pages to go. I think it was about 9:30 p.m. when I started to break down. I was scared to death of failing, mad at God for putting me in this position, physically and emotionally drained--let's just say the natural ability to accomplish this task wasn't even within the realm of earthly possibility. It was all over. And of course I was the only one in the office working and worrying about this thing: naturally the owners were at home playing with their families. Nice.

I lost it. I thought my muscles were going to revolt and leave me like a boneless chicken. I thought I would never be able to look at the bosses again without scratching their eyes out. I thought we would lose the client and I was mad as a hornet that God had laid that in my lap.

Eyeballs swollen, I went to the ladies room, threw myself on the floor and bawled. I was yelling at God!!! Then started praying in tongues to keep myself from cussing at Him (I'm sure He could have handled it but I couldn't). I stayed there till I was all poured out. Exhausted, with no hope left in being able to get this thing done, I said, "God, You put me in this predicament, I need You to do something. Why would You say You'll be glorified through me and then allow this to happen? I can't do this. Did You hear me, I CANNOT DO THIS!!! You put me in this position and You better do something about it! I am going back in there and I am going to type whatever pops into my mind. I hope it's good because I wanna go home."

I grabbed a soda, dragged my sorry tail back to my desk, set my keyboard square in front of me, exhaled and literally typed every word that came to my mind.

Maybe 30 minutes later I struck the period at the bottom of page 2 and concluded that was that--good or bad.

The next morning, one hour before presentation, I read it. It was one of the best brand stories I'd ever read! WHAT?! For real. I passed it around. They guys all thought it was great--really great--and they were ready for the meeting. Miffed that they had no idea what it took to birth that thing, I smiled because He had done it. I finally understood what it means to come to the end of myself, to allow Him to work through me, and He was in fact glorified--I knew He did it. And now you do too. : )

This sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I had heard of things like this and thought, "yah, right." I wish it wasn't so darn painful to get to the place where we give up, but wow, when we do, He really is faithful beyond what you can think or imagine. To this day, I can write, anywhere, anytime. I just have to make myself available.

Just yesterday my boss (I do marketing for a Christian school now) told me in my review that I have the greatest writing gift he's ever seen. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Don't run from the edge of your comfort zone. Please, run toward it. When you're getting to the end of your rope, He is just getting started.

God bless you and all He puts your hand to.